cathyfoster posted on August 11, 2010 09:24
We found this article printed in the Telegraph via the internet:
Marriage counselling can be full of pitfalls for couples and make them feel that their relationship is already over.
Most people would rather resolve such problems between themselves or with the help of close friends and family.
But if they do resort to professional help, then it was "intrinsically linked with feelings of failure and defeat", says a British Department for Education report.
It also made individuals feel weak. By the time a couple decided to attend relationship counselling, it was often too late "to repair a relationship".
"Many of the participants felt that a couple should be able to deal with their relationship problems privately ... without having to rely on external relationship support," the report said.
"Support from friends and family was more acceptable than formal support such as relationship counselling.
"A few participants suggested that if a couple required formal or professional relationship support to solve a relationship difficulty, then the relationship was not worth saving and unlikely to be successful.
The report derived its results from interviews and focus groups with people in long term relationships over three years.
They found that most relationship difficulties centred around parenthood, family and friends, in-laws and infidelity.
A strong relationship was one based on closeness, allowing independence, having children and providing support.
Talking to each other and even arguments - if skilfully controlled - could be constructive in preventing problems arising.
For Neil & I, this reflects why we offer our services. In both of lives we have come across so many people with long-standing distress caused by the failure of their relationship, or even that of their parents. We can't reduce the depth of pain, but we do specialise in minimising the duration so that people can move on, either to renewing their existing relationship or onto new, healthy ones.
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